“And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”
No shit Sherlock! It hit me like a ton of bricks one fine November morning. My dogs had passed on, my beautiful princes moved to greener pastures in Thailand and Canada respectively, my relationship empty and a big house all to myself. I couldn’t remember when last I had a night with deep sleep. The alarm was on, the electric gate closed, burglar bars and Expanda gates locked, yet the neighbourhood dogs had a symphonic pop parade during the night. Dogs like to sleep…a lot. Barking is mostly associated with alarm or disturbance. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry have a dog or two, for loving and for extra protection.In South Africa, you always sleep with one eye open, even the dogs do.
I lay there, missing the daily ritual of letting the dogs out and sipping coffee with my sons. The talks that moms have with their sons in the morning while drinking tea or coffee and dunking Ouma rusks. The running commentary while the news channel updates us and the laughs during Downton Abbey and Shucks it’s Shuster episodes. Talk about empty nest syndrome! Meanwhile, my beloved country was and still is, being raped by the president and his cronies and laws like employment equity and skills development were and are failing. Fear, poverty, crime was everywhere and so were the usual mind-altering substances to deaden consciousness, both legal and illegal. A crumbling state, a banana republic with a whole lot of really amazing people who try very hard to remain sane amongst the chaos. If a “Klippies & Coke” with eish ja! , an elegant glass of divine red wine or a spliff of the international herb helps to remain sane, so be it! Except if you live in The Flats.The Cape Flats ticks differently.So do many other poverty ridden areas. Apartheids Dumping Ground became gangster town and to this day is a scourge of really bad substance abuse with equally bad drugs. It makes the passion gap (a dental modification) trend seem rather charming compared to the monsters that are emerging out of drug dens now.
I turned my head towards the light streaming in. My passport, lying on the side table, caught my eye.Nothing in life is a coincidence. I am a dual citizen of both South Africa and Germany and as such, holder of both passports.The South African passport was lying on the floor, the German one firmly on the table. It was precisely then that I knew it was time to leave. To leave my old self and a take a leap of faith into the unknown to find out what I am truly capable of becoming. Time to say good bye to my beloved Mother City and hello to my Vaterland.